I can’t get it. I don’t get it. I probably won’t ever get it.
It’s not about what you think it is. It is not about my insecurities or dealing with judgement, it’s got nothing to do with trust. I trust them or they wouldn’t be so close. It’s about putting something longstanding that has developed in my mind and intensified over the years on someone else, someone unaware. It’s the risk that my words, my emotions are going to affect that person. That they will worry, stress, that I am placing an extra load that does not need to be there just in case I gain a hint of relief. No. I’m not a talker. I’ve been a talker three times in this life. Each time was uncomfortable, regretful… unnecessary. My issues do not lie with who I confide in, they’re deeper and I won’t put up with you dealing with this so simplistically. It’s selfish okay, it’s fucking selfish and I’d just like to take your advice and write it on a piece of paper and maybe just let it go away with the wind.
